Gifts for your Feminists friends

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Why is your blog called Very Bad Apple?

I sometimes experience mild to reasonably aggressive attacks on my ‘outspoken nature’, which is how my parents and conservative acquaintances like to politely refer to the fact that I am A Feminist. I happen to nanny two children three times a week (girl, 11; boy, 13) and it was suggested that perhaps I should keep my ideas about gender equality more or less to myself whilst in their company.

I was duly irritated by this advice, but of course understood the concern that the girl might grow to have healthy self-image and a sense of opportunity or that the boy could potentially foster positive respect for women and homosexuals. I certainly wouldn’t want offspring of mine to be comfortable with themselves or others.

This is not the first time, and I suspect it will not be the last, that I am treated as a Bad Apple. Feminism (and really any socially progressive thought or attitude) is in my experience,  often treated as a dangerous contagion that should be kept away from the young, the old and those with “delicate constitutions” (read: women). Because it would be really awkward and horrible if even more females thought they were entitled to shit.

I happen to think that all ties in quite nicely with the concept of Eve. That bitch messed some shit UP. Apparently.

I guess I should note at this point that I possess neglible faith of any variety, but as I understand it, this alleged first lady was supposed to be responsible for introducing all subsequent ladies to a world of pain. How typical of a woman – they are always poking their noses in where they’re not wanted, and wanting things they’re not supposed to have, like knowledge, equity and tasty, tasty apples.

Personally, I kind of like the idea that I might infect others with The Feminism – spoiling the whole bunch as it were. I also think that Eve might not be such a bad origin of species for the ladies after all. Some may call it temptation, but I think she wanted more out of life, suspected the omnipotent sky-being was keeping it hidden, and went looking for it (the nosy bitch!). If it weren’t for her, I might not be eternally cursed with things like willpower, beer, and oral sex. I might also not be required to suffer through the large baby/small birth canal situation, but hey – you win some, you lose some. And besides, Eden sounds fucking boring to me.